49.5

I don’t want to let go of this
Your hands are on my hips
So I stand like your tree
Beautiful seed; I planted a one on your two-lips
But you know I must go
Though I’ll hold on to your kiss
Forgive that this tree must leave
I beg not to look at the weakness in my knees
Just the strength in my legs
I’m leaving my heart, would you promise not to shred
This fall is hard enough holding tears I said I wouldn’t shed
Instead… I’ll just see you in the breeze
And I’ll think about what you said
How my father loved me
To make peace before he’s dead
Sew I no longer think back to what he thread
Even if those stitches’ weight felt like lead
I try not to factor in
My mother feeling unloved while she bled
Her love into every meal so we didn’t have to see
The tears that she shed
I never understood love was elemental
I was just a mouth to be fed
But you can’t steal love by force
It’s always led
Those who try to command it instead of understanding it
Land in the deep end struggling to tread
So when my eyes meet yours, I thank you we even met
I just beg not to look at my chest or my roots
Just that I gave you my best and the truth
Some still confuse it’s wisdom as used
But you saw my essence in youth
Grew into me like a blessing would do
Calmed me when I was stressing in two
And now I only feel home when I’m resting in you

Please
Hold on to me for a moment and feel the ease
Because you know I must go
I’ll see you again in the breeze
So the next time you look up at the moon
Baby don’t forget to feel me in the leaves

And even though leaving you gets harder
Loving you gets me through
So even if I’m gone
Know that I’m always here for you

-poetry and photography by Shoaib Malik