Alex of Harford was raised by jaguars in the Mongabay rainforest after being born aged minus three at the base of Angel Falls. He was accidentally ingested by an elephant at the age of seven. The elephant was taken captive in a foreign zoo and uncontent with the surroundings stopped eating. Alex became undernourished so was forced to escape the elephant and the zoo. Part one was achieved, only for him to be mistaken for a Rhesus Monkey and subsequently caged with chimpanzees and fed bananas while being forced to smoke for comedy value and album covers for punk bands. Over the next five years he devised a plan for him, and all other inhabitants, to escape the zoo. He failed, but never gives up, which is why he eventually happily shared the wild with a plethora of animals.
These days Alex enjoys crafting flammable pipes for the residents of his local old people's home, popping plastic bubble-wrap and tickling elven people under their chins. His favourite gardening tool is the hoe and his favourite King, Ludwig II. He suffers from Liticaphobia and Peccatophobia.