ever after (11/7/07)

Published February 18th, 2012

How I wish love and life were as simple as the fairytales we know. Boy meets girl, they fall in love and they live happily ever after. The reality is, after they fall in love… boy and girl meets the world. And they end up apart or if not apart, together but with all the doubts about each other and their happily ever after.
I always thought I’d spend my life with my first love. We used to sit on the cottages of our high school and talk about growing old together. He’d always let me picture really old versions of ourselves all wrinkly and fragile. I’d always tell him that I wouldn’t want to grow that old. Good thing my first love and I never promised each other forever, otherwise, that would be the start of the series of broken promises that came my way. We just told ourselves that if we were meant to be together fate will take its course. Naturally, since I have had 3 boyfriends in this lifetime, my first love didn’t last. But it didn’t end bad and he and I are still good friends up to now.
Let’s move on to the next love of my life. The “bad boy” type. I didn’t know why and how I fell for him, I just did. Maybe I was in the phase of my life where I was attracted to a little bit of mysteriously dangerous and outrageously notorious boys. He was very obsessively too overprotective and that choked the life out of me. Though there were goodtimes, I was not my own person anymore. And I admit that I couldn’t keep my promises. Because some of my promises were made out of fear and out of want to escape questions and arguments. Due to circumstances that can really be avoided but were not, this love life had to be stopped.
Then came this boy, who was everything I thought I ever wanted, wished for, hoped for and so much more. It was so easy to love him. He made it so easy and so simple. And for a while there I thought I have found my happily ever after. But that too, like my past two relationships didn’t last, for reasons both of us still have issues about.
Even with my past experiences, I’ve got no complaints about love or life. I’m still here, trying to live my life as I want it. Trying to be happy everyday and trying not to have regrets and doubts in the things I do. And hoping that someday, somehow, this life of mine will have it’s happily ever after.

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