maria celine nieva

maria celine nieva

5

Affection

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part-time doctor // full time maldita // chef-in-the -making // photographer's apprentice // lifetime amateur tennis player // biker // kinda cute // kinda mean // not evil // just misunderstood //

my prayer (11/3/09)

Published February 18th, 2012

Prayer of the broken hearted



dear God, from the heavens above

fix my heart that’s broken

mend it with your gentle hands

so it can once more love again



almighty God, Whom I love above all

help me stand up from this fall

and if I can’t please carry me

and protect me from the enemy



dear God, love is cruel

why did you create it

chaos and misery, is what it brings

to all the one’s whose heart can sing



heavenly God, I love you

and i still love that someone too

help him stand up from this fall

and shelter him forevermore



dear God, love is bliss

that I will forever miss

but I thank you Lord for the chance

of giving me this kind of dance

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unfixable (10/2/09)

Published February 18th, 2012

They say, that once broken you remain unfixable. Nothing can ever bring you back to the way you were. You have already been wounded and though wounds heal they leave a scar. No matter how you hide it and pretend it’s not there, it has already caused damage and has left you incomplete. You are already scarred, branded, marked for life. You may want to put a sign that says damaged goods KEEP OFF. So no one will ever go near you. So you won’t have to fake a smile when they try their best to cheer you up but still fail to. So no one would ever hope that they have a chance to win your heart when all you could give is a piece of it, already shattered, already broken and still belonging to someone else.



Someone once told me that in order to move on you have to feel the pain. Linger in it. Make it strike you over and over until you feel nothing at all. And when you feel numb, maybe, just maybe you will be able to forget. Forget you ever loved, forget whatever happiness it brought you, forget ...

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immune (8/3/08)

Published February 18th, 2012

ometimes in life, the people close to you, people you think you can never live without become mere acquaintances or worse they become what I always call…. insignificant people. I hate it when that happens to me. The harder you try not to lose them, the more they get pushed away from your life. Maybe it’s life’s way of helping one cope and preventing one from getting hurt. Or maybe it is not life’s doing but ours. Unconsciously, we try to get rid of the bad. We try to get rid of what has once caused us harm, or sometimes what has repeatedly inflicted damage. Maybe it’s within us.. innate… our very own immune system from ourselves. Deep within, we try to protect ourselves from the one thing that may hurt us the most…. ourselves without inhibitions. Because without inhibitions, anything can be said and anything can be done irrationally. And when life or someone denies us of what we want, despite of the efforts done, it hurts, very badly it hurts. Becoming immune is like saying, I’ve been ...

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chad+starfish

Published February 18th, 2012

Here I am sitting on my bed wondering how you are doing and wondering how life has been treating you lately. I wondered so much about you before that the act made me so desperately sad and made me want to reach you so you’d know I still existed. However I guess my hurt was stronger than my interest in knowing how you were. I may have unconsciously protected myself from rejection and from the pain it will inflict during my frailty. Although I got used to it all, the pain, the rejection, the fear of replacement and the fact that I didn’t sparkle like I used to in your eyes, I still unknowingly shielded myself from the blow that might knockout my entire being.

I remember you. Even the tiniest object that reminded me of you could trigger a swarm of memories in my head. The places we’ve been, the things we have done and the loving words exchanged flooded my mind and drowned my happiness with misery and the melancholic thought that you weren’t existent in my life somewhat killed a part of m ...

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all that matters

Published February 18th, 2012

I was sitting quietly drinking from my cup of freshly brewed coffee.

Thinking of the past and how a love like that, a love like ours got lost.

When a vision of what looked like you came into view.

My eyes widened, I couldn’t move, my lips couldn’t speak as you approached the area where I was sitting. You haven’t changed. Not one bit. You still had that same smile, the same eyes that sparkles whenever you see me and the same awkward walk. I noticed a trace of maturity, wisdom and confidence. It suited you well. Made you far more noticeable, it made you stood out from the crowd in this coffee shop. Or maybe you stood out from the rest just like you did before because maybe what was felt before never left my being. You said hello I replied back. And I just stared, not knowing what to say or do and awkwardly fidgeted with my fingers.

We talked of the present and the future and sometimes the past would slip its way through our conversation. The good and bad times were remembered. And su ...

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